My One Word: Speak

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I have been waiting for my word. Waiting longer than I wanted. I was ready back in December, when I had my 2019 calendar and new notebook waiting. I was ready to be lit on fire and filled with purpose. I wanted a word that had momentum, and light, and would put me on the path I wanted. I had a blog post ready, filled with all the words, ready to inspire others as we got ready to turn the page to 2019. I was ready.

But God said wait.

The word, or really two words, and Bible verse for our family came like a gift. It was so clear and fit our family and current situation perfectly. It spoke to our family’s truth and put us on a clear path forward and toward God. Not just for this year, but forever. There was purpose and action and love. I ordered a print of the words and put them on our wall. But they were our family’s words, and I knew God had something more for me.

And still, God said wait.

I took out my empty notebook and wrote down our family verse and words and three img_6893things I felt God calling our family to in this new year. I turned the page and wrote down “My One Word for 2019” and made a place for my word. Then I wrote down every word that came to me. I just dumped them onto the page. I wrote over 50 words. All of them good and fitting words, but none of them seemed right. I had about three words that struck me the first weeks of January. I would write them down on scratch paper to see how they looked. I worked ideas and plans around those words, but there was always something a little off. They worked if I looked at them in a certain light, but in the darkness, they didn’t hold true.

My notebook looked the same, until today.

“No go, I will help you speak and teach you what to say.”

Exodus 4:12

Speak.

In 2018 I became and in 2019 I will speak.

  • I will allow God to speak into my heart and every area of my life.
  • I will speak truth into dark place.
  • I will speak God’s truth into our children.
  • I will speak to crowds big and small. (I already have two speaking engagements on the books for March.)
  • I will speak less and listen more.
  • I will allow God to speak through me.
  • I will speak truth to lies and love to hate.
  • I will speak slowly when my words want to rush out in anger.
  • I will speak truth to anxiety and fear, for they are not of God.
  • I will say “Speak, God. I am your servant, ready to listen.” 1 Samuel 3:9

And this is only the beginning. The list goes on and on and as far as God will take me this year.

“My Spirit, who is on you, and my words that I have put in your mouth will not depart from your mouth, or from the mouths of your children, or from the mouths of their descendants from this time on and forever,” says the Lord.”

Isaiah 59:21

May I listen more than I speak, and may the words that I speak be a sweet balm to your soul.

A Small Patch of Sun

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Do you see that tiny patch of sunshine? That’s where I’m sitting. On the floor, with the warm sun on my back. Paw Patrol is on the television and I’m digging into Psalm 34.

It’s been a hard week. One of those “Really? All of this in one week?” kind of weeks. I’ve had to say hard, grown-up words to my children. Words they should be too young to hear, but society challenges me, no – forces me to speak them. To have conversations with them. To speak truth over them.

It’s also going to snow this weekend. The weather is very trivial compared to everything else this week, but I have been cold since October and I’m ready to be warm again. This is why I’m sitting on the floor in the sunshine. Maybe I can soak in enough to make it to next Wednesday, when the sun will reappear.

Psalm 34 says:

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me and rescued me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant with joy; their faces will never be ashamed.” v.4-5

and

“The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their cry for help.” v.15

This is the simple truth that I need this week. God sees me. In those hard conversations and situations, where I feel completely lost, God sees me. He knows right where I am. He is always with me. This sweet, sweet promise is one I hold on to tight. Even more so in weeks likes this one.

Maybe you are in a hard season. Or a hard week. Or a hard moment. God sees you.

Maybe you’ve had to have hard conversations. With a spouse. With children. With a co-worker. With a friend. God sees you.

Maybe you are still stuck in winter and are praying for spring. God sees you.

Even with our situations seem dark, and make God harder to see, his sovereignty, his power, will hold you and sustain you. No matter how loud your day is. God hears you.

Look past the dark. Look through the noise. Walk toward His presence. His love. His promises.

Go and sit in that small, warm patch of sunshine, and soak it in!

Socks, Bare Feet and Carol Burnett

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When I was growing up, I wanted to be on Broadway. I memorized lyrics, sang the songs, and in my heart, was a Broadway Baby. The girls next door loved musicals as much as I did. We would put together our own musicals on their driveway. Belting out show tunes, or made up songs. We were a regular drive-thru theatre.

We probably “produced” Annie a million times. The 1982 movie cemented the songs and dreams in our brain. I was often Annie, the most sought after character in our group. She was the lead, after all. As I grew up, my desired character shifted from Annie to Ms. Hannigan, because, well … Carol Burnett. (I also wanted to be Carol Burnett when I grew up, because, well … Carol Burnett!)

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Can’t you just hear her singing?

“Little girls. Little girls. Every where I turn. I see them.”

Part of this song has become a sort of anthem of my motherhood. I know, Ms. Hannigan does not portray the best qualities, or any qualities of motherhood. But stay with me, because neither does my attitude toward this one little area.

Socks!

Little (and now big) girl socks!

Ms. Hannigan sings it so well.

“How I hate. Little socks. Little shoes. And each little bloomer!”

She’s belting it out for mothers everywhere!!! The chore of matching little socks, those that are not eaten by the dryer, are my least favorite thing to do. It never fails. Socks go in, but they don’t come out. Also, have you noticed that the same socks, that came in the same package, and are washed and dried in the same machines, come out in different sizes? Also, why can we never find socks? We must have a thousand socks in this house.

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The Sock Basket. Where lonely socks go to die!

All fall and winter long, I hear the same question every day. Every day. (Sigh) “Mom. I need socks!” It’s like I’m living in the movie Groundhog’s Day. Yesterday, there were 12 pairs of socks in your drawer. Where are they today?

Then, something wonderful happens. That something wonderful happened on Sunday. The freezing temperatures are gone, the sun is shinning, and the morning air feels … warm. Dressing for church suddenly takes no time, because there are no socks or tights needed.

We have entered … The Bare Foot Zone!

And it’s wonderful. Sandals, flip-flops, and bare feet!!!

So, here’s to you, Ms. Hannigan and your “Little Girls” song. I also would have “cracked years ago, if it weren’t for my sense of humor!” Let’s hope I don’t end up in the nuthouse with you.